There are so many things you learn within even the first couple months of marriage. In my head, I knew that there would be changes and new things to understand...but I now have that lovely "experiential knowledge". Steve and I have been married for almost 4 months now and I have already learned a lot, changed a bit, and adjusted the way I think and react to a lot of things. Here's a little bit of what I'm learning.
When you get married, you no longer have the luxury of being able to hide those parts of yourself that you don't want people to see. In our engagement I thought that I was as open with him as I could be - now I am realizing that, being married for almost 4 months, there are still things about my personality that I try to hide from him. It's pride and shame, really - I only want him to see me as the 'perfect' wife, not the sinful human being that he has attached himself to for the rest of his life. Let me tell you: it's hard to keep up that 'perfect' game face! It is inevitable that he sees the darker sides of my personality and temperaments, just as it is inevitable that I see his flaws as well. Such is marriage. Such is partnership. Although I love having someone this close to me, it is a difficult daily challenge to truly live and love as Christ did.
I just read an article titled, "Marriage as a Spiritual Discipline" by Leigh Conver, PhD. I really encourage you to read it (it's really easy to find on Google). His main point is that marriage is the best "laboratory" we have for practicing true, Christ-like love every day. There is no other relationship so vulnerable and transparent as the relationship that you have with your spouse. Because you are both revealed to the other, it can make love easy some days and extremely difficult other ways. I really related to what the article said because I have been thinking about it a lot in my own marriage recently. I highly recommend it for your own reading, especially if you are married or considering marriage.
I love my husband so much. I wouldn't trade this marriage for the world. But, that doesn't mean it's easy! I pray every day that the Holy Spirit will give me the spiritual and emotional strength to love my husband as Christ does, and to be totally honest with him about my faults even though it may hurt. Marriage is the union of two sinful people, therefore each is bound to have his/her shortcomings.
Let me know what you think!
