Stupid internet.

So, here's the truth. I spend a good amount of time on a post a couple days ago, but as I hit the button to publish it, my internet blinked out...erasing it. I was so frustrated I haven't touched this thing for days. But I learned a valuable lesson...ctrl+c before hitting the publish button, just in case.

This is what has dawned on me recently - God is very strategic about the people He puts in our lives. Sure, sometimes I wish I hadn't met certain people, or I wish I had better relationships with other people...but it's all in His plan. People come and go, some leaving bigger holes than others in their wake. But God brings along people to fill those holes, after we choose to let Him fill it first. I am starting to realize that there are a handful of people that I am SO blessed to have in my life, and they have been a huge help to me recently. I am so thankful for the close friends I have, and how they make me smile and laugh every day...even when I feel like life couldn't get any worse. Thank you, God.

So...some exciting things coming up! God continues to AMAZINGLY provide for my school bill, even though I have to work close to 35 hours a week (which really stinks when I have this amount of homework). I'm not only keeping my head above the water, but I have money for things like a Skillet concert in NYC October 2! SO EXCITED! Decyfer Down and Hawk Nelson will also be there. I can't wait. October is going to be a very, very good month...for more reasons than just that concert ;)

Even though life is pure insanity right now, man, I love it. I will never again be at this point in my life, so I have to focus on living for God and appreciating what He has given me while I still have it. He always has been, and will always continue to be, my everlasting and loving Father who continuously watches over me.

Hitting ctrl+c before I forget. ;)

Here we go!

Well, the semester has started. Oh yes...it's started. It's my senior year, and I'm terrified. This semester I'm due for the big oral theological examination, which I am terrified about. There is a review course for it throughout the semester...but it's still so much to learn. On top of that I have six other classes, mostly senior classes, that are pretty heavy as far as homework goes. The first week I had a little mental breakdown because I just couldn't see how I would be able to get all of that done as well as work about 30 hours a week. And I don't want to merely complete all of my assignments...I want to learn for life. I want to soak it in, let it change me. Will I have enough time?

BUT GOD...aren't those amazing words? So many times in Scripture, the worst scenarios are given...we are reminded of the monsters we used to be...and then we see the words, "BUT GOD". Already He has begun to show me that: yes, He still loves me, and is going to provide for me; yes, I will have to work hard, but it will be so rewarding in the end; yes, He is going to care for my every need. Last week He provided for me by helping restore previous friendships, make new ones, and create an opportunity for me to get away from campus for most of Sunday with a couple good friends. I laughed so much that day, and in the following days as the result of the fun time we had. This week He has provided by having my boss offer me a promotion that may result in me working less days, but get more pay. He takes care of the big things AND the little things, which gives me confidence. I know He will carry me through.

This doesn't go to say that life isn't difficult or painful, because it most definitely is. There are a lot of heartaches, old and new, that I must deal with every day. BUT GOD is always here, and always has His arms open to me. Although now may not be the time that He wipes away tears, I know His constant presence will always be a comfort to me.

Did I arrange the light of your first day?
Did I create the rhythm your heart makes?
Could you believe when your candle starts to fade?
I want to be the One that you believe
Could take it all away, take your heart away

I'm the One that you've been looking for
I'm the One that you've been waiting for
I've had My eyes on you ever since you were born
I will love you after the rain falls down
I will love you after the sun goes out
I'll have My eyes on you after the world is no more...