Scars remain

Wow...what a summer. At the beginning of the summer, I knew it was going to change my life...and it has. I never would have imagined the things God had in store for me this summer. Anywhere from working with incredibly tough situations to being able to watch God's amazing provision for me...it was incredible.

This week has been especially tough, though. Sunday we found out that a guy from our church, Nicky Roush (who is only 22) died in action while serving in Afghanistan. What a heartbreak! Although I wasn't that close to Nicky, I grew up having him and his family in my church family. It's so hard to imagine never seeing him again on this earth, and my heart aches for his family and girlfriend left behind. Today in the next couple of hours we will be lining up with hundreds, maybe even thousands of people on the side of M-37 to welcome his earthly body home to Middleville. Funeral services will be next week sometime, so I won't be able to make it as I am heading back to school tomorrow morning. It will be an emotional time for all of us who knew him, but we are comforted with the fact that we will one day see him in heaven.

Another thing that made this week especially difficult was a conversation I had with someone I used to be very close to. Our friendship "ended" over a year and a half ago, and I never understood why. Well, he finally came to me and asked if I wanted to know. I said yes. He explained...but the knowledge I now have sends my head and my heart into completely new cycles. It was way off from the reasons I thought the friendship ended. Once again, just as it had at the beginning of the break, I feel suffocated by the pain. I don't know how to get past it. It's this huge roadblock, a tall hurdle, something I feel is holding me back but something I can't jump over. The scars are still there...

Other "little" things that complicate this week emotionally are the end of camp (not knowing if I'll ever work at camp again) and leaving home for college (not knowing if I'll ever "live" here again). It's a weird period of transition.

Well, we're off to the homecoming for Nicky. I will probably post again when I get to school.
Please keep me in your prayers...