Wow, this week was insanity. And this upcoming week is going to be even more insane...if that's possible. I'm praying hardcore that God will help me make it through, because even when I got home yesterday I felt like a zombie. My physical strength is definitely failing me right now, I'm pretty much running completely on "God fumes".
This summer has been a huge learning experience so far. I have made a few serious changes in my walk with God, including developing a stronger love for Him and His Word, and I am learning how important prayer is. As I face my last year of college, I have HUGE financial needs that must be met. My car is falling apart pretty much...and I don't know if I'll have the money to fix it before I go back next month. I just wrote a check for my first payment for this semester, and that smarts. Right now my monthly payments when I get back to school are over $1,000 a month. Yikes! That's a little difficult to comprehend when I only make maybe $600 a month at my deli job. I have been on my knees pleading to my Savior, trusting that He will provide what I need for this school year. It's a tough spot to be in, but strangely it is also peaceful. I know that there is nothing that I, personally, can do for myself. But I have an AWESOME God who has promised to take care of me and my genuine needs. What an amazing truth.
Anyway, back to something besides that annoying green stuff. My heart has been twisting and turning many painful ways this summer as well. I feel like there are so many things from my past and present that are tugging it in so many directions. A real struggle I have right now is being content where I am: single, poor college student, unsure where I'll be a year from now. It's so hard! I've been fighting this contentment battle for a long time, and it's wearing me so thin. Please pray for me...I need it now more than ever.
Despite the hardships I have faced emotionally this summer, I have many blessings as well. I love the friends I've made at camp, and being able to see God working directly in people's lives is extremely rewarding. I've developed more in the music area of my life, and that brings me a lot of joy when I just feel like collapsing in frustration. God has brought testing into my life, but He also brings joy in the little things. I am beginning to realize just how much this amazing God of the universe loves me, His precious child.
Well, that's all for now. I've probably babbled enough...nobody will read this anyway.
I read this!! (:
ReplyDeleteJillian. I love you.
When are you done with camp, and when are you going back to school? I'm thinking we definitely need to at least TRY and hang out before you leave. I haven't gotten to see you nearly as much as I was hoping to this summer ): Stuipd busy lives of ours!
Anyway...hopefully we can hang out soon!
<3 you.
-Risa
I read this.
ReplyDelete